Meaning

So this is going to be a very special post. I told myself that as soon as this blog reach a hundred I would post this. My blog is titled grayngrey for a reason. As a person with Autism, I see the world in black and white. It's not a conscious effort, it's ingrained into my very being. At least it feels that ways sometimes. But all that changed about the time I was eighteen. I had been black and white for years, even embraced it. But I would beat myself up tirelessly, I couldn't let go of any of my mistakes. After a moment with my parents after a particularly bad day, I discovered that my parents forgave me for my sins and that if they and God could do it so easily then so could I. I'm not going to stand here and preach to you but it is what if felt. I'm not going to try to convince you that God is the answer or that my religion is the answer to your problems. I don't want to be seen that way. But I will tell you that after eighteen years of being black and white, I became gray and grey. For me, I try to see the world in shades of gray. So why gray and grey? I have always seen Gray as a darker shade and Grey a lighter shade. I must say though, going from black and white to grey is a tough experience. It often felt like I was poisoning myself and even today I still struggle to see the grey in life. But I have accepted more things and have been able to move beyond autism because of this philosophy that has become my motto: Life is found between the gray and grey.