My Creative Process

I've forgotten something in my creative process. When I was in middle and high school, I collected things on the floor. Pens mostly, which i disassembled and reforged in my own designs. I turned them into heroes and villains that did battle for the flimsiest of reasons. But my best work came about when I had fewer resources. Less pieces equated greater results. It felt like an achievement, pure creation magic when I built from so little. I've dived into the Lovecraft world and there is much to take from but in that deep pool, o forgot that I do more with less. Perhaps I don't need a lot of characters to make a great story. If less is more works for me, why argue with myself? It's something to think about.

Retrunish

Woo, it has been a LONG time since I wrote ANYTHING. I wonder if the ppl originally reading this blog are even following me any more? Well, I'm currently working at Walmart, the place that is known for employee support (sarcasm) but despite, the low pay, the people are very nice and understanding. I've even made a few friends which is great. But there's the problem, at 8.50 an hour, I can't afford to live off of that. If I had worked at Walmart since I was 16 I might have enough to get an apartment (very cheap) but I'm 26 and I need a new job. But, I also want to stay. It's hard to find ppl that understand you and make you want to stay even if the pay is low. I finally got out of maintenance and have begun working in electronics, a favorite of mine. I came to Walmart to get experience in retail so I could work at gamestop but gamestop is going to close down someday. Especially with everyone getting their games online. So here's my conundrum: What do I do when I'm finally getting the training I want in a safe environment but need a better paying job so I may need to go into an unsafe environment.

Searching for a job

I'm so tired. I've been looking for a job for a few months now. Now is the time since Summer is coming up. I worked for a weekend as a security guard last week. I was so happy, I thought I found the perfect job. I could write, read, play games, and all I had to do was wand people as they passed by. I got paid 9.75 and hour! Even if all I had to do for 12 hours was sit there I was still happy.

I was so happy, that I went out and bought a full priced game, something I haven't been able to do since Christmas. But I just ended up wasting money. I was told Tuesday that the job wasn't going to continue so I basically spent half my paycheck. They weren't even games I really wanted. Talk about putting your eggs into one basket.

Now I'm looking at a job that will have me cleaning toilets late at night at Walmart. How is it that an autistic person who got a degree is working these kind of jobs? Maybe I'm just lazy since I don't want to work full time. I want a job but I want to have fun too. I dunno, maybe I should do something else. I wish I still had that security job. I really enjoyed it.

disability

We're thinking about applying for disability, then I can get a part time job as an ABA and support myself. Hopefully it'll all work out and I can move out of the house.

New Jobs and Dwelling

I need to get around to chronicling my efforts while working as a security guard but for now I wanted to talk about something else.
Whenever I start to think about something I do something that I call "Dwelling." It's where I stare off into space for a while. Mom says that some people think that autistic people are doing this because of seizures but from what I can tell I'm just in my own mind. I just don't want to go out and explore something else because the darkness and familiarity is safer.
 I've started looking for new jobs but nothing has come out yet. I want to be a game designer not a stupid security guard. It's hard to look for jobs when you feel like you aren't going where you want to go. Maybe now isn't a good time to write...feeling a little blue.

Animal crossing

Sometimes I wish getting money could be easy as it is in Animal Crossing. Just sell fish, bugs and fruit to get money and you can pay for your house. That being said, who the heck is buying these things? Is there some weird collector outside of my town that likes this stuff?

Security job sucks

Ugh the life of a security guard is not for me. The place I wanted to work canceled so now I have to work at the usual place where I can't read or play games. Life sucks sometimes.