School Goals

In school, everyone has goals. Some want to me class president, others want to be captain of the football team. Me? I wanted my science teacher to hit me with a book. Let me explain.

When I was in middle school I heard this story circulating around school. Apparently someone had gotten the science teacher to throw an encyclopedia at him for making her angry. As I learned more, the legend started to evaporate and the facts became clear. The student had actually made her laugh so hard that she threw a pamphlet at him.

I decided that that's what I would do to cement myself in my school's history. I would be the second person to get a book thrown at them.

I believe I was in seventh grade at the time and the teacher, we'll call her Mrs. Bolt wouldn't be teaching me science until eighth grade. I waited for my chance to tease her. Mrs. Bolt wasn't a serious person at all, just the opposite. She was smart, witty and had a good sense of humor about her. She wouldn't put up with any crap of course. That's where I would strike.

I tried various methods of teasing her like interrupting her, fake-reading her mail and other methods to get her to laugh.

I finally got somewhere in eighth grade when I made an off-hand comment as she was passing the rows. I suddenly felt someone whack my head with a book. I saw Mrs. Bolt pass me smiling slightly. I was finally getting somewhere.

Finally, in the ninth grade, I won.

I don't remember what I said to her but it was funny enough for her to launch a small book at me from her desk. The book landed with a twack on the floor and everyone laughed. Even though the book didn't hit me, I thought I had made myself a legendary joker in school.

Today, I doubt anyone in my school remembers the incident, even my teacher. Who knows, maybe my memory is so bad I made up pieces of the story. But I do remember loving Mrs. Bolt, and I do remember she wacked me on the head. I may not be famous, but at least I got her to laugh.